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August 28, 2015

Man Pulled Over for being Too Black to Drive

Ft. Lauderdale, FL. — A local man was ticketed Wednesday night for what he calls "being too black to drive."

A driver called 911 sometime before 7 p.m. to report a car driving northbound on I-595 with no visible driver, according to trooper Roger Smith. Trooper David O'Brien stopped the Honda Accord at the 84 St. exit in Ft. Lauderdale, and when he approached the vehicle he realized that there was, in fact, a man driving the vehicle.

The 44-year-old man admitted to driving a car with poor visibility, but said that his dark complexion was something that could not be helped.

"As many people know, I am a huge Amiibo collector," said O'Brien, who called the man's actions "unsafe." He wrote the man a $136 ticket for driving with poor visibility.

The man had an orange safety vest and multicolored wig in the back seat of the car, and before he left, O'Brien made sure that he wore both articles of clothing for increased visibility.

August 27, 2015

Gangstalking

Gangstalking is happening.

http://gangstalkingwiki.com/

Bryce Williams was a targeted individual who didn't know WHY he was being harassed. Bryce Williams ignorantly thought it was because of race, but it was not. Targeted Individuals come from every type of background, the targeting in indiscriminate. 

When will you realize that gangstalking, organized stalking, workplace mobbing, etc. is happening (it goes by various names). It is a silent holocaust of psychological mass murder. 

The goals of gangstalking are twofold: Firstly, they are coercing targets to get locked up in mental institutions, prison, and/or kill themselves, preferably making them use guns. The second goal is to cause enough public outrage over the MASS SHOOTINGS and NOT THE GANGSTALKING ITSELF enough to remove the second amendment right to bear arms. Because it is only after the population has been disarmed that an outright and open holocaust can happen. 

History has taught the enlightened that history always repeats itself. The government wolves have declared war on you. 

If you think it can't happen here, you are wrong. If you disregard the evidence that it is happening, you are dead.

August 25, 2015

YLYL: Response

I have never actually won a single one of these threads. Everytime I see that comically anthropomorphized banana holding his peel in a suggestive manner, likening the peel to clothes and his peel-less nature to human nudity, I bust up laughing. This happens every time, no matter where I am, be it the house or the bus or in class. Sometimes I laugh just thinking about it. This is a dark memory but a few months back I had just gotten done with a fit of laughter caused by one of these hilarious threads. Suddenly my mom walks in and she's crying. I attempted to suppress the growing urge to laugh but it was getting more difficult. Face red, tears running down her aging face, mom grabs my shoulders and says "Your father's dead."

It was at that moment that I couldn't hold back anymore. I burst into a banana-induced fit of laughter, but the horrible news drew tears to my eyes. I laughed while I cried, tears streaming down my wide open grin, memories of daddy resurfacing and being melded and combined with the naked banana.

I lost two things that night.

White Mindset

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE WHITE BOYS SO ANGRY AT BLACKS?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

1) They have awesome resistance to the sun
2) They are more fit, they can outrun any white male anytime
3) They got waaaay bigger dicks
4) They know how to treat a girl better
5) They have very wide social circles. White people have forgot how to live in society
6) They got rhythm. They can dance, rap, sing, make music, you name it!
7) A black chick wouldn't date a white boy. On the other hand, white girls would drop their white boyfriend anytime for a black guy if given the chance
8) They're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 200 years ago, but nowadays being with a white bf sucks whereas being with a black bf is cool as hell
9) They got a sense of what family is about
10) They are amaaazing in bed
I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now

We know we are not going back :)

Project Harpoon: Phase 2, Phase 3 - Fall 2015

==PROJECT HARPOON: PHASE II==
(A Proposition/Manifesto)
>TL;DR: A plan to transform this from an extended prank to a goldmine of lulz: a full-scale movement.

We've done it again. Our glorious faggotry has gotten us close to coming up with the kind of shitstorm that can produce a metric fuckton of keks. But come on guys, this isn't working. Not yet.

I fucking love this kind of mass trolling, but I feel like the original infographic (pic related) should be changed.
We're doing this because a few tumblrinas photoshopped video game characters to be fat? Fuck, that just makes this whole thing seem really sad. If we keep going by that reasoning, #thInnerbeauty will never stir up any REAL controversy. It might make a few news articles, but will otherwise provoke little more than a rolling of the eyes and a short comment about neckbearded NEETs.

We need to make this a legitimate movement. It has the potential. Focus this on #thinspiration rather than a juvenile reaction to photoshopped vidya characters. If we don't this will burn out quickly – sure, we might rustle a few jimmies, but not nearly as many as we otherwise could. If we can muster back the collective power that brought /b/ its shitlord glory, we might just be able to sabotage the pro-obesity movement once and for all.

WE CAN BLOW THIS UP, YOU FAGGOTS. LET'S DO IT.
(Cont.)


Viral movements are more powerful than ever. #BlackLivesMatter is one of the best examples. One guy's death provoked an unbelievable shitstorm that still hasn't passed. And now we're standing at the cusp of a new gale, holding in our grubby fingers the power to orchestrate the next tempest.

As denizens of this asshole of the internet, we understand this equation well: MORE CONTROVERSY = MORE KEKS. If we can successfully morph this from another petty stunt to a viral phenomenon, the controversy will skyrocket; and with each butthurt normie will come another pair of sides being thrust into orbit.

Now of course, you're wondering – how the fuck are we supposed to take this to the next level? The answer is simple.

>We pit health activists and “fat acceptance” hambeasts against each other.

Normie versus normie, passionately burning in an ultimately vapid blaze birthed right from our wretched loins. Imagine the lulz.

Some people will likely think this to be impossible. After all, “muh genetics” greasegoblins and health nuts have co-existed on the internet for this long. How are we supposed to change that?
With quite a bit of fuckery, that's how.

Look at the guy pictured. You're all familiar with him, and you're equally familiar with why he's making that face. He's dedicated a huge chunk of his life to being healthy and promoting a “healthy” lifestyle. Now he's on national TV, and some lardo is running her mouth against his livelihood, spewing bullshit she doesn't want to understand.

That's the face of inexplicable bafflement and the deepest restraint. He wants to correct her. But he can't. He knows he'll be knee-deep in malnourished shit if he dares inform her of her unhealthiness, and the fact that her weak will is all that's keeping her from changing. And there are a plethora of other people just like him. All we need to do is create a wave of encouragement, convincing them to advocate for their beliefs.
Right now, pro-fatties have the social upper hand. And if we keep going in the same manner as we are now, they might get a little flustered before calming themselves down with an entire box of Oreos. But what if the tides began to turn by something other than their own gravity, and they were forced to live in a world where their addiction became the next hot-topic issue sprawled across the internet?

If executed correctly, we'll get 4chan out of the spotlight, and instead have these two polar-opposite factions argue over which is better – the cold truth of scientifically-proven facts or coddling the diseased egos of proud hambeasts. Get the two sides to start duking it out while we sit back and watch the world burn. It'd be just like starting a surprise conference call with two people that hate each other, then putting yourself on mute while you listen to them confusedly scream at each other. Only on an exponentially greater scale.

Here's my plan so far. Of course, I understand that /b/'s NYPA, so any comments/criticism from you shitlords would be appreciated.

>=STEP I: Building background + resources=

This should be a familiar process for anyone who isn't a complete newfag.
>Create masses of new tumblr accounts
>On half, follow lots of “fat acceptance” and feminist bloggers (If someone could compile a list of people to start with, that'd be great)
>Reblog loads of bullshit, maybe even make a post or two of your own for added authenticity
>With the other half, follow loads of health nut and fitness bloggers
>Follow the same scheme on Facebook. Try to make the profiles look as convincingly authentic as possible.


>=STEP II: A new start=

>Create a new, politically correct, “Buzzfeed appropriate” manifesto/infographic
>Emphasize how we're crusading for healthy living (The Project Harpoon facebook page is a good example of how it should be framed)
>Explain that this “new phase” was born of /fit/, not /b/.
>DO NOT attack fatties. This will give away our intentions.

>=STEP III: The normies catch on=
Hopefully your tumblr accounts have a decent amount of followers by now (follow4follow is pretty popular).

>One account will post the new infographic on tumblr
>Its followers (mostly us) will reblog it.
Write a typical tumblr comment along with it.
A few can mention how this may be the “only good thing 4chan has come up with”. Most should avoid mentioning 4chan.
>=STEP IV: The publicity stunt=

This is where it starts to get a little tricky.
>Write a convincing article(s?) about how Project Harpoon is wrong
>Reference the sudden surge of PH support from fitness buffs on tumblr
Basically, it will go on about how #thInnerbeauty is both morally and scientifically wrong.
The "author" would have to argue that you can be obese and healthy, but would have to do so in a halfway-convincing way.
It would also have to really go into the fact that these hambeasts' feelings are being hurt. Optimally, it would reference some controversial, poorly-validated health studies.
>Submit the article to some popular feminist sites as an editorial
>Make sure to include a seemingly credible background for the “author”
>Pray to the faggot god moot that at least one decent source publishes it

>=STEP V: The fatties fight back=

>On the pro-obesity tumblr pages, post a link to the editorial. Write a few comments about it.
>Reblog it with the other pro-obesity pages. 
>Add more comments to the chain. 
Complain about 4chan, go on about how obesity is fine and genetics are the problem, the works. Make sure to preserve the air of authenticity.
----------

>=STEP VI: Kindle the flame, force the meme=

>Continue trying to build up hype. Try creating new hashtags in opposition to PH.
>From the fitness tumblr accounts, post the PH editorial, with arguments against it
>Stage arguments between the tumblr accounts about PH
>Have fatties blame fitness buffs for not taking their feelings into account
>Have fitness buffs call out fatties on their false science and skewed logic
>Post screencaps of the tumblr arguments to various relevant facebook pages


>=STEP VII: The final victory=

If all has gone right and the hype has been appropriately built, actual bloggers should start getting in on the arguments. Eventually, they should start carrying it on by themselves. At this point, we can sit back and watch the boulder roll down the mountain and enjoy our work.

At the end, this could be the newest testament to /b/'s strength. We can do this, fellow shitlords. Let's roll in the most lulz yet.

August 24, 2015

MSGV PAYWALL I

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Am I not understanding this game correctly, or are you required to grind missions and level up to progress in the story? In a Metal Gear Solid game?

I had to grind my ass off to unlock C4, and a bit more to finish developing C4, and now I'm unable to do a boss fight because I don't have a seeking rocket launcher.
>>
>>307556914 (OP)
Fulton everyone you knock out and send most of them to R&D to get a lot of weapon upgrades.
>>
How could you not have the LAW by the time you fight the Pupa?

Or do you mean the APC? You can finish that without damaging it at all as long as you take out all of the soldiers without being spotted.
>>
>>307557546

Oh, nevermind, didn't notice the seeking part.
>>
>>307557324
I already am stunning every dude and fultoning until I run out, about 8-ish per run. I unlocked the plan for the seeking rocket launcher right before the boss fight. Amazing.

>>307557546
I finished Pupa with my Law, I'm stuck at the Chrysalis fight right now, no seeking rocket launcher. I tried to M16 it down but it's not working out. Game has horrendous analog deadzones.
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>>307557658

There's a reason the first thing I tell people about the game is that the boss fights are atrocious.
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>>307557758
How did this get a 89 on metacritic? A MGS game that has the story level gated? No crawling? Controls are fucked up too.
>>
Peace Walker is all about that grind.

Even if you manage to not need to grind much in the main story, you are 100% required to do it in order to unlock the true ending.

You have to do Side Ops to trigger seven different missions that are all the same shit, and also collect a bunch of scraps to build Metal Gear ZEKE which means refighting the mehcs over and over
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>>307557870

It being on PSP is the cause for every problem, basically. It's still better than Portable Ops, at least.
>>
What determines the rate that R&D gets developed? My seeking rocket launcher is at 0%, what is the least tedious thing I can do?
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>>307558030

Pick out the fulton mission you can do the fastest and keep repeating it.
>>
>>307558023
PSP didn't make the game mission-based with base management and mechanics which necessitate grinding.

They could have easily done without it and gone with something much more similar to the console titles, but Kojima was trying to pander to his son who likes Monster Hunter a lot.
>>
>>307558204
So plans develop a flat % as long as you finish an op?
>>
>>307556914 (OP)
What do you mean by "grinding"? There's no grinding in PW as far as the main story goes, you don't lose your GMP. Just remember to fulton everybody and do the side ops, they're like 1 minute long anyway.

After you capture Zadornov? That I can agree, it's not like you can do anything aside from doing side and outer ops. Also you should have ZEKE completed by now.
>>
>>307559051
>Also you should have ZEKE completed by now.
I didn't have ZEKE even close to completed by the time I finished the main game.
>>
>>307558247
>they shouldn't try new things because I don't like change

Also why the fuck everyone is shitposting about PW being a Monster Hunter clone? It doesn't play anything like monster hunter. All you get is a couple of secret side ops, which I didn't even know they existed until now, and I finished this game 3 times this year alone.
>>
>>307558247
>LE MONSTER HUNTER MEME
>LE 'WHY DID THEY ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING NEW INSTEAD OF JUST RERELEASE THE SAME GAME FOR THE 5TH TIME?!' MEME COMPLAINT
>>
>>307559160
Shoot the glowing red AI thingy.
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>>307559271
>do something new
This is fine
MG2 did something new. It was great.
MGS1 did something new. It was great.
MGS3 did something new. It was great.
>completely change everything about the core gameplay
This is not fine
PW is so far removed from what MGS was up to that point that it could have very easily been a spin-off a la AC!D or a completely different IP altogether.
>>
>>307556914 (OP)
I literally just beat the Chrysalis a half an hour ago with the M16 and the RPG2.

The key is to keep requesting supply drops and when the Chrysalis stops to fire rockets, that's when you shoot and RPG, and it won't miss.

Or maybe you just need to git gud.
>>
>>307559435

haha wow then you are gonna hate MGSV
>>
>>307559271
Same game with new story/levels is pretty much what all sequels should be though.
>>
>>307559513
I know I am.

Do you think I'm hyped for it or something?
Because I'm not. At all.

I know definitively that I will not enjoy it.
>>
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>>307556914 (OP)
>having problems with Chrysalis

You can shoot it down with any heavy machine gun, moron.
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>>307559630
Don't have any machine guns :( I thought it was a stealth game so I have my stun knife, tranq and M16. I do have a LAW though for Pupa.
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>>307559691
It's not even hard with the M16. Just keep calling for supply drops.
>>
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You don't need heat seeking rockets or grinding to finish the game. C4 is very obtainable early on and C. Gustav is pretty much the only rocket launcher you'll even need, and even that's only towards the end of the game.

You might want to get good.
>>
Even though MGSV is very much Peace Walker 2: Diamond Dog Boogaloo,
the "grind" of the boss battles should at least be reduced to less gigantic proportions. Since you can't co-op them.
Most of those boss fights in pw, including the apc's that spawned dudes were very clearly designed towards having people with you.

I think Peace Walker is pretty fucking awesome, but in hindsight, I'm not sure how I managed to solo Peace Walker on a psp with those controls and that frame rate, but I did!
>>
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>>307559691
>not expecting bullshit giant fighting robots in MGS
>>
I beat Chrysalis with one of the Sniper Rifles quite easily. One of the ones you get early and has something about armor piercing rounds in the description.
Using seeking rocket launcher isn't required at all.
>>
>>307559785
>Most of those boss fights in pw, including the apc's that spawned dudes were very clearly designed towards having people with you.
The gross part is (and if I'm wrong, spare me; I've only got second-hand info) the enormous HP bars only got bigger with multiple players.

You'd think that it'd be reduced for solo play anyway, since it's not like the game is drop-in drop-out
>>
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>>307559451
>>307559691
>>307559590

Wow. Is it really surprising that /v/ can't even get good at a casual handheld game designed to be played in short bursts? I think not.
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>>307559928
Having just two people makes both Peace Sentinel fights go by in a flash, don't know what you're on about.
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>>307559978
>I don't like this game's mechanics or design
>hurr gitgud fag
PW fanboys everyone
>>
>>307556914 (OP)
>Am I not understanding this game correctly, or are you required to grind missions and level up to progress in the story? In a Metal Gear Solid game?

no you only have to do every mission once during the main story

>and now I'm unable to do a boss fight because I don't have a seeking rocket launcher.

and here how i know you lie because the first homing launcher is unlocked right when you need it
>>
>>307559214
They shouldn't try new things if they run completely in opposition of a series' established gameplay design.
Metal Gear up to this point has been "single operative sneaks through location to complete a single huge operation with no resources and little help in the field" and allowed a huge amount of freedom regarding how you tackle objectives, since most of them simply involved getting from one location of the map to another, or defeating a special opponent, many of which had special tricks that made their battles much shorter.
Peace Walker threw this out the window entirely for a mission-based campaign with damage sponge bosses, that was designed entirely around co-op and practically punishes the player for wanting to play single-player.
I should never have to fucking GRIND in a Metal Gear game. That is unacceptable. If Kojima just wanted to make a military game about resource management and co-op, he should have made Peace Walker an outright spinoff, not a game in the main series.
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>mfw just popped the trophy for All Main Ops S Ranked
I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't take their time to get the most out of this game.

I'm ready to fight the Char's Custom AIs and I couldn't be more pumped.
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>>307560075
Like I said, it's only what I've heard.

I never played co-op. None of my friends have the game and I don't want some OP randoms online to make the game a cakewalk for me.
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>>307559978
I think you misreplied to me.

How is saying "you don't need the easy mode lock on missiles because you can use the basic starting rifle" proof I need to get good?
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>>307560152
>Peace Walker
>Randoms

If only one could be so lucky.
>>
>>307556914 (OP)
I did every mission just once and I never had to grind. Clearly you're rushing through the game terribly.
The only thing I have to "grind" right now is the true ending. Since I never got any head parts for ZEKE throughout the story because I only ever shot the bosses in the head.
>>
I don't understand you people that dislike PW. It improved on so many things in the series.
Is this just another case of people hating games because they went from consoles to handhelds (see VC to VC 2)?
>>
>grinding 
what

You play the game without capturing anybody?
>>
>>307560392
>Is this just another case of people hating games because they went from consoles to handhelds (see VC to VC 2)?
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU ASSHOLE

I KNOW IT'S YOU

I'VE TOLD YOU LIKE THREE TIMES NOW THIS HAS NEVER BEEN THE CASE FOR ANY CRITICISMS LAID AGAINST THIS GAME
>>
>>307560108
This is something I hate to do in games. It's just not fun.
Unless you can use the unlockable super items, but in PW, I've heard, they block you from getting S rank.
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>>307560392
Yes.
I've marathoned through the series during the last month, and I can say that PW is in the top 2 MGS games in my book.
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>>307560443
I have no idea who you are confusing me with. Maybe you should be the one to get out if you stalk MGS threads and see some imaginary opponents everywhere.
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>>307560392
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000025,58241106895743,3,
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>>307560392
It's starting to feel like this to be honest.
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>>307560570
There's this fucking guy
At least I think it's one guy

And he seems pretty damn convinced that the ONLY reason people dislike PW is because it's on PSP. Which is completely baseless as very few, if any, complaints that people have with PW have anything to do with it being a PSP game, or the limitations thereof.

And that post seems pretty damn similar to what he says.

So you'll excuse me for mistaking you for him.
I've also been dealing with a number of autists posting the same bullshit over and over in KH threads so it's getting to me
>>
>>307560991
>I've also been dealing with a number of autists posting the same bullshit over and over in KH threads so it's getting to me
So you hate BBS as well, even though it's the best KH so far? You really must have something against PSP games.
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>>307560991
>that the ONLY reason people dislike PW
What's the reason then?
In fact, where does the implication that people hate PW comes from in the first place? I've never noticed actually. Although I've only recently got into the series.
>>
>>307560991
>>307561157
>Peace Walker is playable on PS3
>Birth By Sleep is playable on PS3

People have no excuse
>>
>>307561216
It has too much content
It's too hard
I want to be locked to a single playthrough insted of being able to replay missions by themselves
Guns are too fun to use
It's too easy
I prefer not being able to aim over the shoulder for easy movement while aiming
I hate PSP and PSP games
>>
>>307559160
>I didn't have ZEKE even close to completed by the time I finished the main game.

You never finished the game if you didn't finish ZEKE. There's more story in the game once you complete ZEKE.
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>>307561216
Peace Walker is, by design, a very different game from the rest of the series. Some of the changes came about as a result of designing the game for a portable console, but a number were just because Kojima wanted to try something different.
Some people were fine with the changes, and in fact enjoyed the new gameplay structure more than the other games in the series. That's good for them, and from what we've seen of The Phantom Pain, they'll probably enjoy it as well.
I personally was not one of those people, I found Peace Walker's mission structure to be extremely tedious and burnt out on it quickly. It wasn't helped by the fact that the plot was kind of terrible even by Metal Gear standards.
>>
>>307558247
>there you go son, kept you waiting, huh

>.. Th.. Thanks dad
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>>307561661
The Mother Base management and mission structure are different, yeah, but the core gameplay is pretty much the same. In fact it's improved over older titles.
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>>307561157
>So you hate BBS as well
No, I actually really love BbS and have played it several times. Plat'd it on 2.5 even.
>even though it's the best KH so far?
I disagree with this though

>>307561595
I didn't enjoy the game so I felt no inclination to unlock the true ending.
>>
>>307559214
>>307559271
Nobody said it was a Monster Hunter clone you retard. It was however influenced by it

>It doesn't play anything like monster hunter

Except for the control scheme and the bosses, sure. And let's ignore the fact that the game was designed to impress his son who hates Metal Gear and only plays Monster Hunter.
>>
>>307561745
I disagree, enormously.
It was pitifully easy to sneak in Peace Walker, to the point of being comical. The series' core gameplay had never felt more shallow outside of MGS1, which was literally a PS1 game.
>>
There is an easy way to complete PW without grinding. Just fulton everyone until you have the analyzer, then only fulton C soldiers, then B and over soldiers once everyone in Mother Base is at least a C. And do missions in the order they appear, including side ops. And send soldiers to outer ops after each mission. The only missions to repeat are mech boss fights, since you might not have every part you need for ZEKE.
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>>307561949
Not any more easy than in the previous games, if you ask me. The series isn't really famous for its difficulty.
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>>307562078
Guards in the MSX games were smarter than the guards in Peace Walker.
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>>307561893
How is the control scheme similar? In Monster Hunter (at least in the only one I played) you aim with the dpad, in PW you use the face buttons as a substitute for the second analog stick.
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>>307562038
>one of the early missions
>spot a fucking B soldier patrolling on the catwalks
>sleep him
>realize there's no way to get up to fulton him
I bet the Patriots are behind this.
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>>307562078
Dude, it's significantly easier. The guards in most of the other games are obviously just "standard videogame AI" level guards, but the guards in Peace Walker were outright retarded.
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>>307562195
There is worse - the first snipers you see are S ranks but you don't get a way to fulton them until much, much, much later.
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>>307562189
There are three preset control schemes, one being called "Hunter Type". It's similar to MH, although not exactly the same, but it's really bad for PW. The "Shooter Type" is the only way.
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>>307562227
I've just played through MGS1-3 before PW and I can tell you they're pretty much the same.
>>
Fultoned everyone I've seen and not even close to beating the second PW fight, what the fuck is wrong with these bosses? Feels like they just ripped off G rank with all of them.
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>>307562271
>He couldn't handle Hunter Type
Get a load of this non-claw using wimp.
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>>307562551
PW doesn't even have any Blademaster weapons. Gunning is for fags.