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Showing posts with label biz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biz. Show all posts

July 14, 2017

Losing Your Job And Dealing With Depression

Dear /biz/, I need some serious help.

I was basically fired today, seriously, and I feel like killing myself. Technically I've been only a full-time intern, paid by hour with overtime, for 8 months, but was told repeatedly by the boss that as soon as I proved myself I could be moved on permanently. I'm only 22 but I have a job as an actuary. I thought I had been doing a great job. Yesterday the boss scheduled a meeting to see me today so I genuinely thought I was going to be moved to full time or given a project or something. He told me that he had decided to terminate my employment in 4 weeks. He said basically that the project I had been putting all my time into was not really helping the company that much and that there basically weren't going to be any other projects for a few months possibly, so it wouldn't make sense to keep me there and it "didn't feel like a great fit" for me. I was devastated and told him about how I would work harder and get myself on board with whatever projects there are and how my wife and I had just started settling into the area and this was a huge change and big deal to me. He said frankly that I just wasn't as efficient as I needed to be yet. I almost cried but said that it meant a lot to me to be there and asked for another chance. So he said ok, I could try again for another chance, but there really wouldn't be much work to do or much of an opportunity so he wasn't sure if it would work out at all. He said ok, he wouldn't make his decision final quite yet, but that after 4 weeks he would decide finally.

I'm feeling so suicidal right now. I told my wife, who was just getting settled in this area with me and she was just starting to make friends here. All our stuff is here and my pay was good.

I really want to kill myself with pills or a knife right now.

If anyone here could give me any advice, I'd sincerely appreciate it.
I've been crying so much since I got home I can hardly move.
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>>2786493 (OP)
was in a similar spot almost a year ago. you'll be fine. go smoke some pot
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>being a trump voter
yeah you should kys
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>>2786493 (OP)
shoot up the place
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Fag, don't worry. You're only 22, trust me you're gonna look back at this someday and laugh at you thinking about suicide. Think about your wife and future children. Don't be an idiot, invest all your money in crypto, by the end of the year you will be rollin in lamboland
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Don't kill yourself, OP. You need to keep working like a slave to pay those taxes. If you keep up all the effort you might be able to retire at 60. Life begins at 60.
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>>2786493 (OP)
you're going to kill yourself at the first sign of failure? use that as motivation to find a job that isnt shitty dude.

you think trump would ever consider that? hell no
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>>2786510
I don't smoke. But I don't know what to do.

I loved this job, and I loved living here with my wife.

I am really going to kill myself at this point, I think. I don't think I could ever get a job like this again because the truth is I'm not well qualified on paper but I have learned quickly.

>>2786518
I need serious help..I could never do that.

>>2786511
I posted Trump because I know he said his number 1 advice for anyone was "never give up."

>>2786522
We probably won't ever have children, ever.

It's not just about the money. I really thought this career would make me successful.

And we were finally getting settled in here..
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>>2786511
>Thinking political elections are more than just choosing which face gets to fuck you over.

please tell me more about your enlightened political views
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>>2786533
that's why I posted him

i can't help it though. I just keep crying and can hardly move. my wife knows I'm upset. she's in another room.
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>>2786493 (OP)
Your mistake was getting married. If you lived the virgin omega-male life, losing your job and having to move and/or become a NEET wouldn't be so bad. Now you have social pressures, and they're going to eat away at you.
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>>2786493 (OP)
my gf is going to be an actuary in a year when she graduates school and we want to move out of NYC somewhere cheaper. May I ask where you are located? Don't worry, there will be lots of other job openings. May I ask how many exams you have completed? She doesn't have any exams passed yet (failed FM once) but she's snagged a summer internship at Prudential next year.


OP seriously this is one job. I know you feel like shit but these huge corporations didn't fire you because you were doing a bad job or they didn't like you. You were simply not cost effective. You're still a great worker, just find another job. Shouldn't be hard
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>>2786540
i was just trolling, why do people ask 4chan for advice
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>>2786536
If you're not going to have kids and you're this big of a pussy you should probably kill yourself. If this is your attempt at roleplaying then we'd still be better off without you.
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>>2786544
I'm located in Philadelphia and I have only passed 2 exams.

I recommend using the Adapt quizzes online. My company pays for all the study materials but I used to pay for them before I worked there. The Adapt quizzes were a lifesaver for me. If she can get up to level 6-7 on the quizzes, it means she's pretty much guaranteed to pass the test in person. If she can't, she needs more practice. I've found it's pretty much that simple to avoid taking tests when I wasn't ready, at least for me.
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>>2786548
listen to op, he is literally locked in his room right now crying like a woman. dudes helpless. advice from 4chan would probably be a step up from anything he can do on his own.

op sounds like either you werent picking it up as well as you thought you were, or it was just not a good culture fit. probably due to your highly emotional nature. i bet youre weird/difficult to be around. my advice is to change who you are fundamentally as a person in 4 weeks. good luck.
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>>2786493 (OP)
After 8 months they decide to fire you? This can't be the only time they indicated you were underperforming. Don't they have 6 month performance reviews?

If your first notice is also your last notice, look for another place to work.
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>>2786548
I have no friends anymore and I don't know where to turn.
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>>2786565
she already has been using Adapt but only studied about 1.5 months before her exam. I told her it wasn't enough but she didnt listen. She couldnt really get past level 3 during that time. She's studying again rn, retaking it in October.

Come to New Jersey or Connecticut. Cost of living relatively low compared to New York but also in northeast so pay is high. Philly you had it good but there's plenty of jobs.
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>>2786536
You've probably got a lot of options, but I'd say either work your ass off and by that I mean work so damn hard that your existence is your job(Even better transcend your job completely) and become the ultimate asset to surpass all assets there. If you really want this job then take this shock and turn it into a work ethic to be revered by all(be sure to smile, be social, kiss major ass, and one up everyone discreetly). Other than that either walk away from this and look for other options in these next for week s or give up early. OP I don't know you, but in this situation I want to believe that you have the burning passion to shatter all expectations and go far beyond what you ever thought possible for your job.
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>>2786573
After 2 months into the job, I met the boss for the first time. I asked him why my internship had no end date and he said that was intentional, that he would check my performance occasionally and move me up if he felt it was a good fit. A few months later, he reviewed me and said I simply wasn't bringing in enough client hours and gave me a goal for client hours. I met and slightly surpassed that goal from the day he gave me that review. I worked hard.

Today he pulls me in and I thought he would move me up for passing that review but instead he told me that the project I was working on was not actually making the company enough money so even though I had listened to his previous review thoroughly, I still wasn't making the company enough money and wasn't necessary. He said today that this was mostly his fault for not telling me that the project I had been putting all my time into was basically a dud for the company.

But then he said that over the next few months there won't be many projects so it probably won't work out.

After my talking, he agreed to give me a second change.
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>I'm only 22 
You're fine.

I'm not one to give advice but it sounds like they just can't afford your young ass regardless. You don't have a second chance, he just felt bad and wanted you out of his office. I mean you could try to bust your ass off and get the job back, I might be wrong. But if I'm right, you'll have busted your ass off for nothing and without a backup.

I think it would be good to look into your other options in these four weeks. Also you can't be sad because this doggie exists somewhere.
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you are just thinking about the money you wont earn. you are thinking on the success you wont have. you are thinking the place you can't afford to live in.

there are people in this very board struggling as homeless. you are a greedy motherfucker that got his chance and blew it.

you can pick up the pieces and be more realistic on your goals, move back to whatever the hell shithole you crawled off, look for another job which you are actually qualified for, or whatever you can get with the experience you gained.

or you could just kill yourself. i think you are a waste of space and you do should kill yourself. i loath greed. i hate people like you and now i'm mad you even got the chance you threw away.

i don't care about you, and no one here does really. so man up or stfu.
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>>2786586
The real tests are about level 3-4 on the adapt quizzes.

I'll tell you the truth though: I didn't pass exam P until my fourth try and exam FM until my 3rd, insanely bad I know, and I wanted to give up so many times because I'm genuinely panic and freeze up, start shaking and forget things like how to read during exams. So I understand how it can be hard.

But honestly if she could do like 5 practice exams on Adapt per week every week from August to October she'll probably almost definitely pass.

Where do I even start to look for a job though when this doesn't work out? I'm not in college any more so I don't even know..
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>>2786493 (OP)
Your wife must fucking hate you like holy shit dude grow a pair
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>22 years old
>married

Nice, OP. I'm jealous
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>>2786626
I really thought I'd spend the next 10 years or so here, growing with the company and living with my wife..

I suppose I should try to fix my resume on the weekends and still work as hard as I possibly can during the week...

At this point, I don't see myself above being more aggressive in asking for more work and trying to show myself better because if I'm fired, it won't matter what they thought of me anyway.
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Aside from your boundless overreaction to this news, you have a good attitude when it comes to working hard.

You'll be fine. Are there no other job prospects for you in your area? Not even something more menial?
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>>2786571
How?
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>>2786571

This is sound advice.
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>>2786493 (OP)
man up. I lost job with 3 kids and brand new built house. started my own businesses. make more than all my pervious managers combined now and work when the fuck I want to and can tell people to fuck off now too. feels good running into bosses from previous employment, I can be smug on the inside, humble on the outside.
check freelance sites for work to pay bills while starting. live cheap. sell shit you don't need. 23 is young you have lots of time to be the rich if you want.
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>>2786493 (OP)
Just steal everything you can and plant CP on your bosses computer.
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Keep your head up OP... leverage what youve learned and trudge forward. im sorry to hear about your bad day.
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>>2786637
talked to my gf about you, she said

"i was talking to the [her school] alum that i shadowed at prudential and he said that no actuary gets fired unless they fucked up/didnt keep up with their exams/didnt show effort/wasted time

damn......he took the exams many times.....

he just has to go on company websites and look for openings i guess. no other way. unless he wants to go to ASNY (in the fall i think) but I'm not sure if that is more for internships or full time.
If he can't find a full time then he has to start with an internship again or find a rotational program"
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>>2786664
I don't know. This is a suburb and it's so quiet and I know nobody here, at all.

My parents think I've settled down and found a nice job here and will be successful. They even came to visit me and see the company. It hurts to know I'll have to tell them.

I think the most I can do is work as hard as I can for the next 4 weeks and aggressively tell them that I can't accept "sorry we don't have any projects you can help with right now" any more. Not the boss, who is never around, but the people just below him who actually have projects and are supposed to give me work.
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you'll look back at this time in your life and see what a small bump in the road this is. sorry if it's shit advice but i'm letting you know i've been through similar shit and it's not the falling down that we call failure. it's the staying down.

love you OP
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>>2786683
>>2786637

She added "ASNY is a good way to basically get your name and resume out there. You talk to representatives from multiple companies and leave your resume with them.
It's definitely helpful so that when they look at your resume with your application they know your face and personality"
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>>2786493 (OP)
>I've been crying so much since I got home
So I assume this is a lesbian couple...
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Go be a farmer OP. If your wife leaves you then she only wants a certain lifestyle and that stinks.
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>>2786541
you have 4 weeks to find another job. get on it dude
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>>2786683
Please tell her I really appreciate the advice.

>he took the exam many times
Ha, yeah. I know, but the feeling when I finally passed exam P was amazing.

>no actuary gets fired unless they fucked up/didnt keep up with their exams/didnt show effort/wasted time
I understand that's normally the case, but technically I was an actuarial consultant and I think this situation was different. Only because I was the only intern who came in, had absolutely no training, no mentoring, and the company actually forgot that I was even hired.

For the past 8 months, I've had to effectively beg people for little tasks I could help with here and there because I have to mark the number of hours I contribute to each project so that our company can bill the client companies. Everyone always says "sorry we don't have any work for you," and nobody in the office talks, ever.

It's like working in a library and having to bother people every day asking them if there's something you can help them with.
Now the boss says I don't have enough client hours and I keep saying "I have been asking every day to every body and I want to help. I want to do more work" and it turns out there really isn't any work.

I will go to company websites and look for openings if it comes down to that though. Thanks. And I'll keep ASNY in mind too for recruiters.
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>>2786711
My wife's father and mother were farmers in Korea coincidentally. I would kind of love that if it paid well enough.
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Your fucking 22 you fucking retard, who the fuck cares. You'll get another job you fucking weirdo

jesus christ
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>>2786688
Stop giving a shit about what other people think of you. Success must start with yourself.
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>>2786718
How?

If I leave for an interview in the next 4 weeks, I'll probably be fired right away. I can't afford that.
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>>2786493 (OP)
You can't kill yourself if you have a wife desu. You got responsibilities to another person desu. Send your resume to a few places and do your best with those 4 weeks. At least you were able to get a stay of execution
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>>2786731
my gf wants to know what company. "Oh he is in consulting. thats different then I guess. if its a small company then tell him to try out for bigger ones that will have a lot more work for him. Depends on if you're doing P&C or not but companies like prudential, metlife, New York Life, etc"
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>>2786731
>the company actually forgot that I was even hired
>Everyone always says "sorry we don't have any work for you," 
Remember this for the future. These are enormous, glaring signs your job is in danger. The fact that you thought you had a future with this going on, only highlights your inexperience.
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>>2786493 (OP)
first off, you're 22.

Do you know what I was doing at 22? Wasting my fucking life away drinking, and working $10hr temp jobs.

I started college late because I hit rock bottom; it was my only option left. By the time I was 28, I had my first real job in another state 9 hours a away. After 6 years, I sold my 1.5 year old house, and moved back home where I found a better job. I am now 35.

I would fucking kill to gain that type of wisdom at 22. You're so young, man. Learn from it and find other work or a new job. As long as your drive to succeed exists, you can make it through no matter how tough shit is.

Just remember, youre starting your life at 22...I started mine at 28. As long as you don't have a kid, and your wife isn't a cuntbag, you'll do OK.

Start networking with other people. Join social sport clubs with your wife, and get to know people. It doesn't have to be work related. More connections you make, the more likelihood of someone giving you a foot in the door. Most people find their jobs, because they know someone. Shit, it's how I found my first two jobs due to friends I made in college. So get out of the one you're in now, and move on to something else.
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>>2786745
Your days are marked anyways, so don't cling to the last few weeks of a steady paycheck. Seriously, that 4 weeks offer to re-evaluate is bullshit. He just wanted to get you out of his office without making a scene. Put all your effort into applying for a new job or internship. I really hope you already have a resume handy. If you don't, stop crying and wasting time on /biz/ and get it ready.
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>>2786741
Thank you.

I think I thought for some reason that everyone's opinion of me at the firm mattered so I didn't want to be too bothersome but still needed work.

Now I just need work and I think I just need to be more aggressive because it won't matter if I'm not.

>>2786784
I'm in life consulting at the moment.

I could certainly try to apply to them. I wish I knew how. Should I just email associate actuaries at the company, look for openings on big company websites and email the HR addresses they give, reach out to network via alumni at my university with a similar career?

Probably all of the above.

To be honest consulting is a nightmare because there's no consistency at all. I thought I wanted a "dynamic" job going into it, but the reality is you're supposed to work 10 hours a day some days and then have nothing to do for weeks while my boss is upset that I'm not doing enough. Even though I directly tell him that I need more work to do and there don't seem to be any projects to work on. He always just kept saying that I just needed to ask more people, harder, and that he'd "talk to them about bringing me in on more projects," which almost certainly never happened.
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To everyone in this thread who lent me advice, thank you.

It really helps me and I appreciate it.