Showing posts with label copypasta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label copypasta. Show all posts

May 21, 2017

use this cut to make fun of DLC lovers

Roxborough4Ever posted.

this is because you BEGGED for the dlc with your 360's and ps3's.....now you got it....DLC out the wazoo

sims 1 & 2....billiards tables....sims 3, where is the billiards tables? oh, the dlc! there it is!

grand theft auto 3, vc, sa......ALL had TANKS...gta 4, where are the tanks?

The ballad of Gay Tony.....they there are! thanks for the dlc!!

you keep buying your DLC off the cutting room floor

you ACTUALLY believe that they devs are coming back together months after the fact to make "add-ons" for the game, and its no a conscience effort to sell you what they've held back on.

you are DESPERATE to not see the reality.....



September 23, 2010

After spending $300 on grocerys, the customer is always within his right.

So I was at my local grocery store here in Texas where the high was 105 degrees. I buy nearly $300 worth of groceries. Big items too. I'm talking huge bags of dog food, cases of water, soda, shit like that. I go to a check stand where I notice an elderly woman is sacking the groceries. She had to have been at least in her 70's and she was probably the only bagger there at the time. I tell her to pack as much as she can into the bags. I also requested paper which is a little harder to carry cause there aren't any handles on paper bags. So after about what seemed like 15 minutes, the old bat finally finishes sacking the groceries and putting them back into the basket. As a common courtesy, the cashier asks if I'd like someone to carry my groceries out to my car. She probably assumed I would say no since the only person available for such a task already had one leg in the grave.

WRONG.

The cashier looked at me in complete disbelief after I requested a carryout. So the nice elderly lady begins pushing the 700 lbs. cart as I quickly walk back to my truck. Did I mention the parking lot is at an uphill slant? I look around and witness the disbelief in the faces of the other patrons as they watch me walk in front of this poor old lady who couldn't have weighed more than 85 lbs. soaking wet, pushing my cart up hill in the blistering Texas heat.

So as soon as she gets to my truck, I hop in and start the car and blast the AC. I guess I should also mention that my truck is nearly five feet off the ground. So after about, I don't know, 20 minutes, she finally finishes loading my truck up with my groceries. She goes to tap on my window to let me know that she's finished. I politely nod and quickly back out and speed off into the sunset as I lol my way home. Felt good, man.

September 22, 2010

Going for my second penis inspection this month...

First was for college, the second one is for my part time job.

Most places don't have penis inspections anymore, but if you're unlucky enough to live where they still do them, there really isn't anything you can do to get ready for it.

The guy has you drop your pants, and usually checks your balls first for lumps and whatnot. He doesn't have to squeeze very hard to do this, but sometimes they do, just to be mean. Cold hands are also very common. He'll wear gloves, unless he's a fag.

Then a visual inspection of your penis, looking for lesions, warts, anything indicative of an STD. You'll probably be fine there, virginfag.

The worst part comes at the end, with the glass tube going up your urethra. I think they're using some kind of plastic now, which is much safer, but it still hurts like hell. Once he pulls it out and wipes a swab with it, you're done. They send the sample off somewhere and if you don't hear anything back within a week or so, you've passed.

Good luck, and remember not to cry. That really makes you look like a pussy.

September 21, 2010

Relationship On The Rocks, Advice?

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night something odd happened. She had come over to play WoW and had forgotten to sign off of AIM after she left. It was whilst I was going through her buddy list that I noticed my mage had just been two-shotted by a rogue.

Should I stick with my mage or should I play a class with more survivability?